Friday 2 November 2012

Chairs

Our family does not do well with chairs. They tend to give way on us in the most public of situations. Before you suggest more exercise and and healthy eating let me say none of us are grossly overweight.

Frank Lloyd Wright barrel chair. 1904. He used variations of this design in his own house, Taliesin, and in the Darwin Martin house in Buffalo, New York
 My, on the skinny side, husband has the most trouble. His pinnacle of achievement was evening drinks with new neighbours when each leg on his chair splayed out in different directions, sending him crashing to the floor. As our family had witnessed similar events in the past none of us were overly alarmed but the lady of the house found us shockingly unconcerned.
Barcelona chair, 1929 Mies van der Rohe and Lilly Reich
In a lovely heritage building my seven yr old son handed me the arm and side rails of a Windsor chair. The now lop sided donor chair stood reproachfully in a corner. Fortunately the nice lady said not to worry, it was always happening.
Our daughter, on the other hand, is a menace to friends. Her rather ratty canvas deck chairs give up and rip in panic the moment a posterior hovers above.

Red and Blue Chair 1917, Gerrit Rietveld
I thought I had paid my dues many years ago at the lawyer's office. The only room available was the board room. The table and chairs were huge. In fact, when seated, my feet dangled in the air like a child. I was precariously perched on the lip of the seat and worried it might tip forward. With the aid of the arms I bounced myself further back into the chair. The darned thing was on wheels and the force sent me sailing across the room until I bounced off the wall and careened back towards the table. Neither the lawyer or my husband came to my aid, both sitting there with their mouths wide open. Finally I had to ask my husband to wheel me back into position.
So, yup, I thought I was safe.
Adirondack chair 1903, Thomas Lee  (a little patent hanky panky followed)

Wrong. Here begins the final instalment of House Hunting Hell.
Wanting nothing more than to get home we finally got onto the ferry. Winds immediately increased and we had a bumpy ride over the waves. Nevertheless we joyfully bounded into the airport. Flight cancelled, due to now storm conditions. Next flight 27 hours ahead. Time for a very early liquid lunch. Into our favourite seafood restaurant. I gratefully sank into my chair and the leg fell off. I managed to brace myself between the table and the wall in a rather undignified pose to avoid hitting the deck. After all we had been through, it was a laugh or cry moment. I chose, or they chose me, uncontrollable giggles. I could tell the waitress thought me highly strung.
Louis Ghost Chair 2002, Philippe Starck

The airline provided us a night in a slightly grubby hotel, evidenced by the mummified french fry on the carpet.  We gratefully made it to our own precious bed the next day.

12 comments:

  1. Ha ha ha ha!!! This is so funny! What a crazy curse! Or maybe it's just the Divine's way of keeping everything in perspective. :o)

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  2. I apologize but I can't help giggling a little myself at this post. : ) I'm sorry this house hunt was one from hell, but am glad you're back safe. It seems a find was not meant to be at this point. I think if these have to happen that end up steering you a particular direction, better they happen up front rather than buy a house that becomes a total disappointment or worse, a money pit.

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    1. Thanks CB. House hunting is going to be much easier now we are renting out at the coast.

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  3. Dear Susan,

    I enjoyed your post. It made me smile.

    Our family curse is church steps. If we can trip down them or up them then we will. Even my very regal Grandmother seemed to constantly trip on them. It became quite a thing in our family after a while. Was Someone trying to tell us something?

    I am glad you are safely back home.

    Bye for now

    Kirk

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    1. Perhaps you will need to locate a side door and enter discreetly. Like the royal family when they want to avoid the public.

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  4. Hmm..... perhaps you should become a chair tester. You just might be in high demand by designers! I'm glad you didn't get hurt when the leg fell off the chair. I know your bed must feel very good right now!

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    1. I'm pretty sure I don't have the mental fortitude to become a chair test pilot. My bed feels wonderful, a sea of calm surrounded by half full packing boxes.

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  5. Oh my. Changing the subject a smidge, you have chosen some pics of some of my favourite chairs, especially the Barcelona and Ghost chairs. For years I've wanted to paint an adirondack a pale lemon yellow, and paint a dew cornflowers and blue morning glories onto it, sparsely. Wouldn't that be pretty in a shady spot?

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    1. Hi Mary, My favourite for style is the barrel chair. For simplicity and comfort the Adirondack. Your painting scheme sounds wonderful. I resembled the ghost chair by the time I got home!

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  6. How interesting that chairs seem to be the bane of you and your family. Your tale reminds me of a TV or movie I saw when I was a kid. It was a moving chair that didn't want people to sit on it. Was it The Adam's Family maybe or Bewitched or ??

    Thank you for your comments on my blog. I'm glad you were able to spend "time in the garden" as well as those places we haunted, or haunted us when we were younger. :)

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    1. The chairs I encounter must all come from the bewitched factory. I'm still thinking about the beautiful greenhouses. Now waiting for the right moment to show hubby.

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