In Stitches

I have stitches in my leg, just below my calf muscle.
"No stress on the wound until I see you next week," announced the doctor.
What***!?
"Doc", I say, "This is my diggin' leg and it's plantin' time."
The city boy looks baffled.
"Tell you what," I offer, "I'll slap some duct tape over it before I go out to the back 40."
An awkward silence then he slowly pushes an instruction chit towards me.
I'm thinking there might be a mental health referral on his desk next week. One of us is going to need it before this is over.

It will not be me because I haven't cracked

while living like this

the orange is gone-hooray

or trying to raise my plant babies like this

Although there is the straw that broke the camel's back theory, which may come into play next week, because I want to take out my own stitches...